The Tyranny of Outcome - Part I

Have you ever been frustrated by the advice "focus on process over outcome?"

I suspect this is wise counsel. Buddha warns that attachment to desire is the origin of all suffering. Lao Tzu prescribes that the “only path to serenity” is to “do our work, then step back." Two philosophical heavy hitters, no doubt.

But allow me to fret about this a little bit.

In my life, I've never been able to escape "outcome focus," despite the fact that I know it clearly causes suffering. And though I know that each outcome, positive or negative, simply begets the next goal in an unending cycle, this knowledge has rarely caused me to tilt more toward process-orientation.

Why? Because with sustained effort toward the fulfilment of goals, we gain a great many things:

• a sense of purpose

• personal satisfaction in accomplishment

• social connection with those we co-opt into our cause

• public recognition

• a heightened (albeit egoic) sense of personal value

• mastery

• monetary reward, which in turn further delivers safety, opportunity, and choice

That's a lot! it seems to cover the bottom half of Maslow's hierarchy needs, and then some.

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, Wikipedia

Only when we arrive at the relatively rarified echelons of aesthetics, self-actualization, and beyond do goal-setting and outcome focus seem less relevant.

To go further, we're told to dispense with our egos, understand that "we are enough," to “let go,” and to "immerse ourselves in the wonder of being rather than doing."

I’m not making fun of this. But while I intellectually understand and agree with those notions, they have me quietly asking in protest “at what point does this imply that I have to leave behind my own humanity?"

I mean, it was my own human brain that outfitted me with my striving nature, my desire to pair up and procreate, my craving for food and shelter, and my incessant need be accepted by others. You're asking a 195lb meat stick to mount the peak of transcendence and fade into an ethereal wisp of smoke bearing little resemblance to a person.

While triumph and suffering may be two sides of the same coin, transcendence seems to only be accessible through complete ego death. In what seems an unfair ironic twist, wouldn’t that prevent me from experiencing the wonder of it all?

It turns out the answer to that is… yes and no. It depends on who “me” is in that sentence.

You’ll know what that means if you’ve ever entered into unmitigated joy of the “flow state.” Ego is nowhere to be found in that realm. During these rare moments of peak performance, our bodies and minds literally do feel like they fade away into nothingness. We act, unencumbered by thinking. And it’s absolutely exhilarating.

Eckhart Tolle tells us that this is because “I” (Jeremy) am not the “witnessing presence” feeling exhilarated. Jeremy has to get out of the way so that his cosmic essence can merge with the perfect universe, producing perfect action, perfect thought, and perfect being.

And when we finally come out of that trance-like state, not only are we left yearning to get back there, but unsurprisingly we don’t necessarily associate that wondrous experience of flow with ourselves. And we have a deep appreciation and wonder for the gift we’ve just been given.

I’m preaching to myself, the (almost) converted. My hope for the coming year is that I can re-dedicate myself to process over outcome, taking the leap of faith that there really is nothing I need to accomplish—only the prize of experience.

In this series of posts, together entitled "The Tyranny of Outcome,” I'm going to explore these ideas more fully. I’ll:

• hearken back to the days when "play" ruled over "work"

• explore the interplay between effort, achievement, and suffering

• discover the benefits of time spent vs. time saved

• talk about the advent of automation and leisure, and our how we will pursue meaning

Come along for the ride with me. I need all the help I can get on this one, in the form of your comments and experiences.

In the part II of the series, we discuss the playful process of children, and how we lose it to a life of pursuit.

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